#maybe I should vent more
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so uhhhhhhhh. not to be cryptic and bitchy on main but congratulations to everyone in my messages for like 5 months on being right i guess
#ramble#ughhhhhhhhhhhh ok so#i will delete this later bc idk if this person has tumblr and i genuinely mean no ill will i just need an outside opinion#i vented about it on my close friends story already but i need like. a neutral party#i won't say their name but if you're on other socials you probably know who it is#basically for a while i've been getting messages saying 'this person has hacked your art style' or 'is REDACTED your alt account'#and in the beginning there were like. similarities? but nothing i could really claim and also i don't want to accuse someone of theft#like i don't own any stylistic choices or anything. i've used things from other artists i like. honestly it's kind of flattering#and we are actually really friendly in DMs now and we even joke about it. we message eachother any time we get a comment about it#i made a joke literally 2 weeks ago about how we're two different people i swear#but after adding some Very specific things to my art (like the paper texture/hatching/shiny lighting). they also added them#and i gave them the benefit of the doubt bc i don't like to believe anyone has bad intent with stuff like that. and i've done the same obvs#but recently they dropped some tav lore and it was. basically a panel for panel copy of one of my cyra comics down to the HAND PLACEMENT#and obviously i don't own the Bitch Mother trope or anything but it's just. mmmmm it makes me feel weird#idk it just feels like it's gone a bit far now and i'm not sure what to do about it#like you would think after we became moots they would get scared and stop but i think i was too openly trusting and they just kept going#recently someone on THEIR PATREON thought they were me and they weren't even one of mine (which by itself is funny but. y'know)#i don't want to call anyone out or upset anyone bc it only causes more problems but like. i Know. and idk if they should know that i know#maybe i'm just stupid idk i really trusted that it wasn't happening but it is and i don't know how to feel#hONESTLY I'M JUST MAD THAT I CAN'T DO ANY MORE CYRA LORE NOW BC PEOPLE ARE GOING TO ACCUSE **ME**#also PLEASE do not witch hunt this person i want to deal with this as quietly as possible#i really felt like i was in the twilight zone or just being paranoid so i had to ask
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"why does fanon love making Jason care about his goons when he kills them in canon" I'm sorry to tell you that Jason's Robin run is a significant work for his characterization. And that Willis Todd was in fact a goon. Like, that's a significant thing that happened.
(jaybin fans exist not every Jason fan is a hardcore UTH fan who thinks everything about Winick's writing is pure and just and the right way)
#look i get liking Winick's jason and he's a super important jason writer and wrote two of his foundational works#but there is a third one and it's called Jason's robin run#and asking jaybin fans to accept anything especially classist/psychophobic depictions#just because winick wrote it#even when it contradicts important elements of Jason's story and origins#is unfair#i don't think he should have been a crime-lord in general a killer yes but not a crime-lord#but if he did become a crime-lord I can see the appeal of him doing it in a way that gathers community#also: “why do people like making AUs where things are more fun” idk maybe it's because it's fun#sorry for the vague post but#sometimes i get annoyed at people using one writer for a character to diss people's AU#while disregarding other aspects/important runs of these characters#vagueposting#vent post#jason todd#dc#red hood#dc comics#robin ii#jaybin#fandom discourse
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"Allies should be okay with hearing hard truths that we have been suffering through for years, because if a child has to experience it, they as an adult can take the time to understand it with their adult brain and their adult emotions, and if they cannot handle that, I shouldn't have to be okay with handling their feelings gently."
and
"Sometimes we go too hard on allies because they're the only person who benefits from the problem who will listen to us, and the anger that we have carried from being wronged for years should not be put solely put on the shoulders of people trying to help us, and they should not have to be okay with being mistreated with the same hatred that people have aimed at us."
Can and should coexist actually.
#cat chats#it's all about context#if someone you care about makes an insensitive joke about your experience#you should be able to tell them it's not okay and they should be able to be like 'sorry i'll do better'#but if all the butt of your jokes are about their experience being a majority#and they say 'hey this is starting to get heavy'#and your response is 'well you can just deal with it because i have to deal with people who are like you every day'#or 'well obviously i'm not talking about you because you're one of the good ones' when you openly condemn people like them#maybe take a step back friend#some jokes are better between people with your lived experiences especially when you're venting frustrations#i don't expect my allo friends to listen to all my aroace jokes about allo people because some of them only hit right with aroace people#especially the 'imagine having to have sex to feel human' or 'nobody knows how to be friends anymore they gotta make it weird' jokes#but they should absolutely acknowledge that american society is designed for people in a relationship with two incomes#and people aren't looking for an end all situationship where they're both friends chilling in an apartment together with no romance or sex#because god forbid we touch each other platonically in any way or people will think we're dating and in love#or how most of american society views that you can't just be friends with someone once you fall in love with them because it's not the same#or how once you're in a relationship everyone else in the world shouldn't matter more than your partner or you're 'emotionally cheating'#and most movie plots that are like 'i don't do romance' always end up with someone softening their heart and giving them a romantic subplot#or that people can't have sex and have it mean nothing it always has to be a romantic thing#like tell them how it is but don't make them your punching bag ya know?
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please don’t be sad little sprout, you are loved 🌱 🖤
🌱
#🌱Thank you<33🌱#I guess my latest vent art post made some of you guys worried. I'm sorry ;;n;; )#but I'm alright. well.. kind of? Like I haven't done anything to myself kind of alright?#maybe I should explain bit about my situation but at the same time I don't feel comfortable to open up too much#but simply said it's about doing art as a job and mental health#Things haven't been going well but I am getting help for my mental health#This is all what I will say for now about my situation#I apologize again that I made you guys worried#but I do warn that I might post more vent art if I get enough energy to draw#this is just one way how I deal with my emotions#but if you don't like vent art I suggest to block the words vent and vent art#I remember tumblr has this option somewhere??#and uhh.. I don't really know how to end this post but thank you everyone who has been sending support<33#I might not know how to reply to them but I have read them all and I'm very thankful for all the support what you guys have given me🌱#Thank you🌱#ask#anon#me talking
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On one hand, I need to calm the fuck down about Sephiroth and stop giving into Twitter to debate lore. I KNOW I’m better than this lmao.
On the other hand, I see people genuinely angry about “how Crisis Core ruined Sephiroth by killing part of his agency through Genesis,” and “how having friends made him less cool,” and “how all the Compilation is humanizing him too much and taking away his mystery,” and “how he went evil for no reason,” and “how he was always an asshole that saw himself as superior to others and only broke down because he found out he wasn’t all that.”
I see unironic worship of “canon” traits he has that apparently mark him as a perverted alpha daddy dom sex god instead of the actual raging, delusional murderer with a loathing for all life he becomes for a reeeeeeeally key and important reason.
I see remarks like “I hate how First Soldier is ruining my favorite character and taking away more of his agency,” when said “favorite character” is Sephiroth’s most surface-level traits as a villain with no further depth and he has to be cool and perfect 100% of the time or else he isn’t Sephiroth anymore and he’s suddenly “badly written.”
That’s not the same character.
Yes, I know.
Why am I mad that one of the most beautifully designed and canonically objectified and powerfully portrayed and sensually voiced and thirstily fawned over characters in video game history is being reduced to singular traits???
I don’t know.
How can I demand the luxury of rage when faced with such odds.
What did I expect.
Yeah, this one’s on me.
#i need to chill#i really do#this isn’t me i swear i’m not normally this willing to even LOOK at fandom bs nowadays#i used to spend hours arguing for my favs on reddit and youtube lmaoo but i kinda got past it for years#seph just….woke the momma bear in my soul? does that even make sense?#it wouldn’t be so bad if he wasn’t SO widely misinterpreted#and does that sound arrogant? maybe? but it also shouldn’t because i feel like almost everyone else here on tumblr would feel the same way#like it’s just this uncanny perspective that exists in the “normal fandom” but somehow doesn’t even begin to thrive here#the problem is…the “normal fandom” is much louder than we are#so part of me feels obligated to crawl through the mud and try to spread a different outlook if nobody else will#but then i feel like it’s contributing to an endless cycle so idk if this is worth it#god i should relax#i’m just worried the devs will get discouraged and we’ll never get more stuff but that’s probably irrational#i also hate seeing big tweets with some really bad faith take on a character with thousands of people liking them and later parroting them#i don’t care how popular or beautiful the character is JUST STOP REDUCING THEM TO ONE FUCKING THING FOREVER#anyway i’m fine#(i’m mentally ill)#sephiroth#fandom vent#ff7
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Hello, Sister. I would like to tell you about a dream I had.
#alan wake 2#alan wake#night springs dlc#night springs spoilers#*#mk.op#mk.edit#mk.gifs#maybe i'm just overtired since i didn't sleep well last night but i feel like i made more than i actually did today?#not that i should be associating my self worth with creation anyway#back on topic the vents remind me of the writer's room windows
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Really need my brain to shut the fuck up for a while
#Trying not to vent post#rahhhh#I just feel like they all hate meeeeeee#ok stopping there so this doesnt spiral too much#woah mama I should probably eat more food maybe that’ll help#jean has thoughts
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Wanted to make a piece celebrating the completion of the pigeon pot but uhgggg I hate this I loved the sketch but i was too unfamiliar with colored pencils and messed it up arrrrrg chromatic blacks are so hard to make my hand hurts. If anyone wants to see the finished pigeon pot then you can comment and I’ll post it but ugh I feel so unmotivated now.
#I hate colored pencils#idk I’m starting to kinda hate traditional art more#all my digital art gets more likes anyways#I’m starting to like digital but I can only do it at the place I go to on Thursdays#want to get a drawing iPad but I have no coin#I could always open up commissions but I don’t think people would pay that much for traditional art…#I could always sell the pigeon pot#anyone who wants the pigeon pot I’ll probably sell it for 35-40$#that is if anyone wants it…#maybe I should keep pigeon pot#shipping and setting up a shop seems like too much work#everything I do feels worthless#but this feeling will pass eventually#hopefully#wof#wings of fire#wof art#artists on tumblr#wof nightwing#pigeon#pigeons#uh oh goose is ranting in the tags again#except this is prolly more of a vent#did this instead of ap seminar and now it just feels like a waste of time#and I’m behind on ap seminar too…#time for the monthly crashout in the tags let’s go
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This is, like, the third or fourth time (if not MORE) that I see a person apologize for talking about touken, showing enjoyment in the ship or needing to give some clarification. I know I'm not the only one who feels like the TG Tumblr space carries a negative atmosphere towards touken and it honestly kills my mood to post on here.
It also saddens me to see people show love for them so hesitantly. Like you're in the wrong for doing so. Like it's stupid. Like it's silly and unreasonable. Like it's almost shameful. Idk! That's how posting on here and see other people talk about them and acting ashamed about liking them makes me feel!
For how much TG tumblr advertises to be a welcoming space, I don't feel welcomed at all and more like just tolerated.
#maybe I should be blocking more freely. maybe thats the mistake im doing#the tg sexywoman tournament wasnt fun because instead of uplifting your fave#it kinda turned into dunking on touka#im not gonna stop posting on tumblr for those few who yk. actually like touken#but im alresdy interacting less here because of that atmosphere#and maybe its gonna be even less#idk man. im annoyed rn KWVFJWJDJ#im just glad i have the touken community on twt#i feel very appreciated there and not like im being delusional for liking the canon ship#im making this post to also see if others relate and im not overreacting#tg#ken kaneki#touka kirishima#touken#tokyo ghoul#yh going to the main tags#vent
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Vent: btw, Aile, who are currently working at Giro Express? Aile: um, you know, Sho, your best friend Vent: uh-huh Aile: two deranged siblings that not as deranged as before- Vent: they seem familliar- Aile: Cherry, our new repairman Vent: Sho said she is a smug gremblin that should be locked up for her dangerous invention- Aile: ignore Sho, next is Mint, she is our accountant Vent: she doesn't seem very friendly- Aile: and Warren- Vent: what's the hunter daddy doing here???
#mmzx#mmzx ocs#edit: woah. i just...i really should be more mindful about what kind of reaction i want to give to character here#i made Sho so unintentionally mean. and especially toward her💦💦💦#KArts#currently trying this new way to do zx mugshot#but now i scared of scaling them up#anyhow#i somewhat liking the name Mint for the blue-haired girl#Cherry is still debatable cuz' first she likes bees. so it feel like she should have names related to them...like honey?#but at the same time. this sound weird. i feel like her name should start with C#maybe i should go similar naming route like Ciel and Prairie did#st related to tree/fruis/foods/edible stuffs?#that means i should change Prometheus and Pandora's nickname#Warren has canonical name tho#maybe Blossom would convince him to use different name#the entire theme for Giro Express is that...they were actually bunch of criminal/people who used to involved in crime that decided to chang#at least. after Aile gone back to working in GE#so Aile giving them nickname to work under is another way to help protecting their identity#Sho is the only one who doesn't follow#and despite that he has always been running the GE when Vent/Aile not around#Aile sorta also his boss
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Are you ok? My favourite mechs artist has been quiet recently
im am SO so sorry i havent been able to post in so long aaa.. at the moment i am very much not okay, unfortunately a lot of things have gone poorly very quickly but hopefully its only a temporary set back!!
tldr i finally managed to get a full time job a month & a half after moving and my car broke down for the last time almost immediately upon hiring so i now have to walk ~2hrs to and from an 8 hour shift every day + more personal stuff,, the pain & stress is Not fun for my back problems or mental health :,^)
hoping to get the bike my mom leant me repaired as soon as i have my first paycheck or 2, so fingers crossed that will make a huge difference
i have still been slowly working on comms in whatever free time i get but its slow going 😔 ty everybody for your patience & sorry again for not being online!
#2024 has been a comedy of errors thus far & i have been the punchline every time 😔😔😔😔#im more bruises blisters and joint pain than man at this point#but it will get better!!! *holding 2024 in a chokehold* IT WILL GET BETT E R#you’re so so sweet tho ty for checking up on me#sorry for complaining#should i tag this as a vent post? maybe just in case#vent post#ily all and cant wait for things to settle down and actually have time to dra w again 😭#asks
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oh im obsessed with this actually… who ever wrote this one i am kissing u on the forehead and hugging you real tight… inigo is such a loverboy im kkkhhhhhhijnsdnfng
#ann plays awakening#EDITING TO SAY I STARTED TAG VENTING HIT READMORE AT YOUR OWN RISK#anyways#LAST LINE IS A KILLERRRR WOW#‘ann werent you just pairing olivia with thar—‘ OLIVIA IS A BUSY WOMAN OKAY#but also i just had this old save file from when i wanted to see pink inigo and decided to get some more supports#im obsessed actually like#ok tag venting time maybe this should be its own post but u guys know who i am#not only does this support in my very educated opinion do a good job at emulating inigo’s way of speaking#but i think theres also a very underrated characteristic he has that not a lot of people talk about and its that hes honestly quite morbid#him spending hours talking to and dancing with his mother’s grave is very beautiful and moving but it is also not a normal way to grieve#which makes sense because duh nothing about his life is normal but its j like. you know#if robin is his father (and maybe j the normal convo i dont remember) in the hot springs scramble he’ll insist upon bringing—#severed risen limbs home as a way to remember the peacefulness (lol) of the springs#and he thinks absolutely nothing of it!!#i think he gets attached to things just a little too intensely and because his life is surrounded by death how he expresses that can be#very interesting. and he talks about death all time more than the other kids#bc while a lot of their coping mechanisms are based in fear and the need to instill confidence in themselves (think cyn or gerome or owain#or sev or yarne or noire)#and how their SCARED of death and of loss and adapt different behaviors to act like theyre not (to varying degrees of success)#i think inigo is much more accepting of the fact that death follows him and has made it a normal presence in his life#which is not a good thing it means that he hasnt let himself grieve. he lets death hang over him and follow him instead of pushing back#also guess which one of the awakening trio in fates has the canonical story death. just by the way lmao#anyways bc im writing this in the tags on my phone i cant actually see what the hell ive been saying im j stream of consciousnessing this#but my point is that inigo has a weird fixation on death and dying that stems from his inability to make peace with death and grieve#and i think him idolizing death in this support (this BRILLIANT fan support that made me ill) is so in character and so lovely#i miss him so bad (hes literally in the photos im posting) grghhhrgah#i wuv him :(
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Uhhhhhh... Whoops....
(vent art perhaps. but also day 7. I'm on that grind)
#razzleanddazzle1fan#dandys world fanart#dw#fanart#dandys world#dw vee#vee#vee dandys world#GUYS. IM OK.#I JUST NEEDED TO GET THIS OFF MY CHEST.#no mr snail. that means you should NOT tell my mom. or whatever you did last time.#i don't need them worrying more.#uhhhhhhgghhhh...#vent maybe#idk
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I got tired of circling back to frustration over my nitpicks on the f&c series so I OC’d my boy. Whoops. 😅💦. I'll still post stuff in the future about the AT version because I still have a lot of doodles I haven't posted yet and doodle ideas I want to draw!!... Buuuuuut in the meantime my brain gears have been turning hardcore over incorporating this version into my OC-verse... he's a silly astronaut now <3
#pulling a 'my oc koz lord of vampires' with this one bc I simply do not care anymore. If I'm gonna be insane I'm gonna be blatant about it#but ok. ok. listen. In my complete defense. I got tired of reading all the bad takes on simon. I was getting TOO angry.#especially with how the series handled the situation so insensitively#and I was like. well. actually that's kinda unhealthy pal maybe we should back off. and that's what we're doing#still love the character ofc!! I just don't have the capacity to fully explore an AU from AT's perspective without getting angry at it#fun fact I made Itchy as a self indulgent AU to vent/cope in the first place... so I kiiiinda knew this was coming the moment I made him#like... what’s more self-indulgent than taking him out of the source material for funsies? do u get me? <3#this is surprisingly not the most self indulgent thing I've done. but it's pretty darn close#anyways no I'm not tagging him on main that's my oc now. clearly. sgweats. beards him. see? that's ichabod. clearly not simon /hj#I made a kin onion a while back and tried to grab some influences from other characters so I hope that helps a bit#some of his story beats will line up with simon's ofc but Itchy's supposed to mirror Fern so it's nice to give him some space from simon#ok no more rambles I guess here come the other tags#digital art#original character#original stuff#ichabod zymmynz#flat color#2024
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the feeling of being a bad person, the feeling of desires that are illegal, the feeling of intrusive thoughts, the feeling of mental illness
i overthink a lot about being outed as a bad person, even though i haven't done anything wrong as far as i know. it's just scary to think that there could be people who want to ruin my life
and maybe i do deserve it, maybe i do need to be a pure being with no nuance
maybe i should hide, delete my accounts in social media, stop talking to everyone except my nuclear family and my therapists, just. kill myself without actually doing so
to lose that love for sharing stuff with others and become a hermit, nobody will hate me
#vent#i've been at a bad place these last two weeks#feeling super tired and disconnected. overthinking many things. being anxious and stressed all the time.#maybe i should take a break from living the way im living#and i dont mean ''going outside and touching grass''. that would cause more stress#i want to take a big fat break. an entire week. maybe even two#i'm sorry. i'm rambling. i don't know where this vent came from.
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man
#maybe im being pessimistic abt this. im not saying u should wear a mask every waking moment of your life god knows i cant#but also. hell no i dont trust u if anything i distrust u ppl even more after how things played out for the past 3 years#like there are situations where it might be inevitable catching covid. most of my family members are nurses and in constant contact#but there are also a ton of ways to make that risk low as possible like masking and wearing a face shield and having sanitizer#for me its not enough to just say oh we're in a small group and we're all vaccinated#motherfucker your kid is sick from preschool EVERY TIME WE VISIT. of course ill be wearing a mask she gave me covid last year#also no the fuck it isnt seasonal the cases go up because lack of caution makes the virus spread and mutate especially around times when#ppl gather. add that with virus transmission in cold weather and its a matter of different factors increasing the risk of spread#im also tired of ppl not understanding that i wont be their responsibility if i do get sick. maybe they can help me recover#but at the end of the day the risk of death and long term health is all on me. i cant change that#the govt barely gives me accommodations what makes u think theyll do anything for every individual case of long covid or worse#im so tired. im so tired#i dont even know if its possible to want this to be over anymore i just wish we didnt have to deal with this in the first place#ALSO COUGH INTO YOUR SLEEVE SERIOUSLY HOW IS THIS SO HARD TO REMEMBER#oh its just a cold/dry throat its not like i have covid or anything. no!! its basic hygiene!!! how is this so hard to understand!!!!!!!!!!#and no this isnt abt whether people have the means to protect themselves this is me bitching abt my relatives not taking me seriously#vent#my art#myart#doodles#covid 19
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